The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

This book has changed the way I parent. I have two daughters, 1 and 6 years old. The oldest struggles with elevated levels of anxiety to the point where we decided to have her start chatting with a pediatric therapist to help her (and us) better navigate the tough moments. Her therapist recommends that all parents read this book. I am so thankful that I did. I not only understand more about my daughter’s brain and thought process and emotions, but I also understand more about myself, and how my handling of situations has projected my own anxiety onto her. The good news is that we can actually change our brains by forming new neural pathways, and it’s never too late to start. So you can take situations that normally upset your child (anxiety, fear, anger, violence, hyersilliness, nervousness, inability to focus – truly anything) and use these occurrences to help them form new neural pathways that in turn allow them to better cope with challenges. And it’s helped me in the same way. I’ve noticed I am better able to manage high-anxiety situations in general. This book does an amazing job at explaining just enough of the science to help the concepts make logical sense. For me, this makes them easier to remember and implement. After reading this book, I *get* it. And that makes all the difference in the world when you are in an emotional moment, struggling to best navigate not only your little one’s feelings but also your own. Beyond the concepts, this book provides practical, easy to understand techniques. And darn it if they don’t work. I noticed such a rapid response with my 6-year-old that I started using some of the approaches with my 1-year-old, and there was an immediate response with her as well. Getting such quick and positive feedback makes you excited to keep using the approaches. And it’s really set up to be as easy as possible. There is a helpful “HOW TO USE THIS BOOK” section at the beginning, I’ve included some snippets in my photos. I think this book is a game changer for parenting, and I wish I had read it earlier. I recommend this to any parent, new or veteran.

As a father of three sons and a daughter and one of the grandfathers of their ten children, I can certainly understand what Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have in mind while discussing moments of extreme stress for parents when their children become infuriating and intolerable. That is why I was intrigued by their explanation of the power of the "whole-brain approach" during all manner of touchpoints in parent-child relationships. That power is especially helpful in "the moments you are just trying to survive" because it creates "opportunities to help your child to thrive." In fact, the 12 strategies that Siegal and Bryson recommend can be effective for almost [begin italics] anyone [end italics] who has direct and frequent contact with children, including teachers, coaches, and clergy as well as parents and other relatives. In fact, with only minor modification, I think they can be beneficial to interactive relationships between and among adults, especially to those within a workplace. "What's great about this survive-and-thrive approach is that you don't have to try to carve out special time to help your children thrive. You can use [begin italics] all [end italics] of the interactions you share - the stressful, angry ones as well as the miraculous, adorable ones - as opportunities to help them become the responsible, caring, capable people you want them to be. That's what this book is about: using those everyday moments with your kids to help them reach their true potential." These are among the passages that caught my eye: o Integration of Various Mental Domains (Pages 6-10) o Get in the Flow: Navigating the Waters Between Chaos and Rigidity (10-13) o Left Brain, Right Brain: An Introduction (15-16) o Two Halves Make a Whole: Combining the Left and the Right (18-22) o The Mental Staircase: Integrating the Upstairs and Downstairs Brain (38-41) o Integrating Ourselves: Using Our Own Mental Staircase (64-65) o Integrating Implicit and Explicit: Assembling the Puzzle Pieces of the Mind (76-86) o Mindsight and the Wheel of Awareness (93-97) o Integrating Ourselves: Looking at Our Own Wheel of Awareness (117-118) o Laying the Groundwork for Connection: Creating Positive Mental Models (125-127) o Cultivating a "Yes" State of Mind: Helping Kids Be Receptive to Relationships (129-133) o Integrating Ourselves: Making Sense of Our Own Story (143-144) Note: I urge you to check out another of Siegal's books, Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation, in which Mindsight and the Wheel of Awareness are among the subjects discussed. Readers will appreciate Siegal and Bryson's skillful use of "What You Can Do" sections throughout their narrative that serve several purposes, notably focusing on key points while suggesting specific initiatives to apply what has been learned from the given material. For example, "What You Can Do: Helping Your Child Work from Both Sides of the Brain" (Pages 22-33). Dozens of eminently appropriate illustrations were created by Tuesday Mourning. However, no brief commentary such as mine could possibly do full justice to the scope and depth of what Siegal and Bryson cover, with eloquence as well as rigor. I have elected not to list the twelve (12) strategies because I think they are best revealed in context, within the narrative. I do presume to suggest that those who are about to read this book begin and then frequently review later the "Whole-Brain Ages and Stages" material (on Pages 154-168) because it creates a wide and deep context, a frame of reference, for the abundance of information, insights, and recommendations in the six preceding chapters and Conclusion, "Bringing It All Together. " This book need not be read straight through (although I prefer that approach) but it should certainly be consulted frequently, hence the importance of "Whole-Brain Ages and Stages" and the Index as well as (I hope) passages of special importance that have been highlighted. I also presume to suggest that Daniel Siegal and Tina Payne Bryson's brilliant book will be most valuable to whole-brain readers. In it, they provide what they characterize in the Introduction as "an antidote to parenting and academic approaches that overemphasize achievement and perfection at any cost." It is imperative that everyone involved directly (and even indirectly) with the development if children "understand some basics about the young brain that [they] are helping to grow and develop."

This book was a total eye-opener for me as a parent. The Whole-Brain Child breaks down how a child’s brain works in such a simple and relatable way. It helped me understand why my child reacts the way they do—and more importantly, how I can respond in a way that actually helps, instead of escalating things. I really liked that it’s based on neuroscience but doesn’t feel too “science-y.” The strategies are practical and easy to try at home. Things like “name it to tame it” and “connect and redirect” have already made a difference in how I handle meltdowns or tough moments. If you want to build a stronger emotional connection with your child and feel more confident navigating big feelings, this book is a must-read. I wish I had read it sooner!

This is a very well conceived and executed book, and very worth your time. The authors do a tremendous job of translating neurobiology and cognitive psychology into basic language for a general audience, for use in direct child interactions. Through each of their 12 strategies for understanding and interacting with "The Whole-Brained Child," the authors begin by describing in an unintimidating manner the portion of the brain and its function that will be subsequently discussed from a behavioral standpoint. From here, they use that behavioral basis and give very detailed examples of how to handle child behavior stemming from the associated biology, referring back to the brain as a reference point rather than as the focus. The point of the book, all science aside, is in dealing with certain child developmental features and behaviors (such as implicit memory, tantrums, fear of failure) by connecting with children directly. The science is used to serve as a backdrop but is a fascinating addition to what otherwise would be a simple behavioral book. Instead of just saying HOW to interact with children, the authors show us WHY, which lends a much greater and more nuanced understanding to the how. This book provides a unique opportunity to read about everyday situations with children and relate them quickly and easily to a neurobiological level. Though the authors say the book can be for direct childcare practitioners (such as teachers and daycare workers), the obvious target is parents. Here there are some issues. The book seems to be written for a white, suburban, middle class parent as opposed to the general population. Additionally, the practicality of some of the strategies is not immediately apparent, and the amount of effort required for many parents will be substantial - a paradigm shift for some ways. The illustrations are helpful in showing the dos and don'ts (not labelled as such, thankfully), but I found myself thinking the don'ts were many parent's default. The strategies really are a shift in thinking and require a lot of skill and investment to execute, but they are definitely achievable. In no way does this book alienate parents with over-expectations. I also felt some situations I felt were not addressed adequately. Most of the examples of child behavior and parental involvement deal with more mundane, everyday occurrences from the 'average' child. If you are interested in how to explain to your child what death is, this book doesn't venture into those dangerous waters. Nor does it address more difficult children. Additionally, the section of bringing implicit memories to the explicit is somewhat suspect in its claims and its basis, which some may find hypocritical. If implicit memories are necessarily altered as the authors say, why would a parent with altered memories of an incident helping a child reconstruct the child's own altered memories of that same incident serve to help the child? I wonder too about parental inconsistency when using these strategies. Again, they are intensive and hard to do in the moment the behavior is being exhibited by the child. I do believe these are not major issues, however. The authors' stress on underlying the importance of connection, integration of thought, and mindset make most of the above manageable simply by establishing a trusting baseline relationship with the child. Overall, I believe the pros of this book outweigh the negatives, though they should be noted. The authors' ability to successfully and fluently translate incredibly intricate science to the common reader (no college degree seems necessary for reading, but a level of literacy is assumed) is no small feat. It makes me wish more laboratory experiments that have real-world implications can be taken by researchers into the hands of the people that actually need and use them on a daily basis. Parents will find the strategies difficult to implement and will certainly encounter situations not touched upon here, but this is well worth the read. And it won't take you long...the writing style is easy to follow, the science unobtrusive and accessible, and the situations are often in dialogue-form and wonderfully vivid. Along with the illustrations and a very helpful appendix at the end denoting in which age ranges a parent should expect certain behaviors to manifest in, this book is a win.

If only my parents had read this book! That’s all I could think of when reading through here. Really profound concepts of the mental and physical, mindsight and empathy, all get laid out with wonderful examples and in easy to practice ways. I will be referring to this book for many many years.

This book is absolutely a must have. I have a degree in Christian counseling, and this was one of the texts we read. I was in the field of social work for a while, and I frequently taught from this book. If you think about it, I had a digital copy and ended up buying a physical copy, if that tells you anything. This is a great text for social workers, therapists, and even exasperated moms and dads. It breaks down challenging mental health concepts in an easily understandable way that is not overloaded with jargon. The methods in it work. I cannot recommend this book enough.

This is such a great book, I have taken every single ounce of information and implemented it. It’s one of those books where you know you’re on the iPad, but you just need a confirmation, and this is such an exciting way of teaching our brain how to react differently when you’re struggling with the dynamics with your kids I have definitely recommended this book to the other one that goes to the same challenges.

Wonderful book. Almost a year later and I still come back to a lot of the things found in the book.